Timeline

in the beginning — there was darkness

100k bce — god, aka the world, creates man.

20k bce — man learns about farming. the humans who end up with the most food become keen on farming.

1492 — proto-corporations gain a toe-hold in a vast, unspoiled world. people and bison start dying in droves.

1765 — james watt builds the first steam engine power plant. mother earth raises an eyebrow.

1776 — a group of wealthy, slave-holding landowners tire of paying taxes to a far-off, insane king.

1776 — adam smith tells the world a story about an invisible hand that will provide for us all. the world believes him.

1889 — karl benz builds the first internal combustion car. mother earth frets.

1908 — american monopolies take over the country at the expense of every other institution.

1944 — scientists explode the first atom bomb. mother earth shits a brick.

1971 — coca-cola announces it would like to buy the world a coke and keep it company. the world presumes “it” is the world and not the coke, but remains unsure.

1974 — man finally rediscovers that woman exists and is probably also a person; consequently, he stops calling the whole species “man”.

2001 — false profit seeks to get people and companies to abandon their all-consumptive profit motive.

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2016 — western nations announce they’ll ship surplus food to hungry people rather than let it rot in silos.

2017 — shell energy closes the last of its oil wells; dinosaur souls have a party.

2018 — cdc announces lower recent stress levels cause decrease in heart disease, cancer, hemorrhoids.

2020 — nea announces spending on arts exceeds spending on capital generation for the first time.

2025 — microsoft announces next version of windows will be open source.

2030 — people officially abandon war against mother earth.