Dividend: Ooah, Danny Corn, Dr. Toast

New York, USA - Traders were puzzled yesterday, watching from the floor of the New York Bass Exchange, as an irregular spike in the Consumer Bass Index left the IT Specialists at the Exchange scratching their heads.

“The Index always keeps a steady rhythm. We’d never seen it spike like that before,” said Naomi Dabby, the Director of Frequencies at the Exchange. “We knew it had to be a glitch in our network.” But after two hours of searching, the IT department could find no network issues. “We checked and rechecked all our systems and all signs pointed to the spike being real,” Aaron Bornstein said, who was one of seven network administrators who responded immediately to the glitch.

What none of the traders or officials at the Exchange realized was that False Profit, LLC, a leading company on the Bass Index, has investors on the West Coast trading furiously. Set to receive their largest Dividend in more than a year, investors will be treated to the glitchy basslines of Ooah this coming Thursday, May 24th at the Poleng Lounge.

It was the combination of Ooah, Danny Corn, and Dr. Toast that whipped up investors into the frenzy that caused the anomalous spike. “Are you kidding me?,” said one trader, who wished to remain anonymous, because he was having difficulty remembering his name.

“Had we known that Dr. Toast has been adding a touch of glitch into his sets, we might have seen this coming,” said another trader, also unable to remember her name.

“I saw Danny last summer and it took me three days to recover my memory,” said yet another nameless investor.

The Poleng Lounge, a perennial San Francisco hot spot will get its first taste of False Profit, LLC this coming Thursday, May 24th from 10p-2a, and the reverberations have already been felt by investors in New York. Said one ecstatic investor, “If this is what False Profit does on a Thursday, I can’t wait for Priceless.”

DIVIDEND @ Poleng Lounge
1751 Fulton Ave @ Masonic
10-2a / $5

Ooah (Glitch Mob, LA)
Danny Corn (Moontribe)
Dr. Toast (False Profit)

+ with art and fashion offerings from Medium Reality and Clay Chollar.