Dividend: djunya, DJ scout, Obi-J

False Profit LLC and Partners Totally Blow Up Spot

SAN FRANCISCO — Investor confidence is on the rise this month, following reports that the Consumer Bass Index is projected to hit a record high. According to Low-End Analyst Sam Pearlman “we expect the CBI to plateau sometime shortly after midnight on Thursday, February 22 — probably somewhere near 6th and Market in San Francisco. Activities in the bass sector by False Profit LLC seem to be driving this trend.”

In a note to investors, False Profit VP of Muffin-Hop Jim Reynolds wrote “False Profit’s recent acquisition of Jay Oberhelman [nasdaq: OBI-J; 47.23, +18.3%] and our strategic partnership with djunya and DJ Scout have created an unusual opportunity for rhythmic mayhem.” When reached for further comment, Reynolds remarked “this shit’s gonna be so spiritual.”

This month’s Bass Index peak is expected to produce an extremely robust Dividend for savvy investors. On the news, Pearlman reiterated his “buy” rating on FP stock, adding “WOMP WOMP WOMP!”

djunya
(Narco.Hz , Dubscouts)
dub, dubstep, 2step, roots music, downtempo

DJ scout
(Koinonea, FnF, bianca)
dub, dubstep, broken and global beats

obi-J
(False Profit, DownLow, Pronoia)
breaks, glitch, dubstep, midtempo